Saturday, March 29, 2008

#54: Stupid DHARMA test subjects think a time machine is a complex vaccination doo-hicky.

"Desperate to prove that there’s ANY benefit to the new time machine, the leaders of DHARMA find a group of their own people to involuntarily become “test subjects” of their next experiment involving time travel. This being: can sending people back in time permanently cure them of a deadly virus? Without proper warning, DHARMA releases a virus in an area of the island that infects many of the “test subjects.” Then DHARMA claims that they can cure the disease with this special “device,” that device being the time machine. This, however, is NOT obvious to the test subjects - they just want to get cured, and think the time machine is some type of complex vaccination. As fate would predict, the test subjects go back in time and are cured of the virus, only to be later killed by the smoke monster, as the monster is the “physical means” in which the timeline course corrects itself. DHARMA, seeing this smoke monster for the first time, is now officially fearful that this time machine will end up serving no purpose whatsoever."

Amazing. Wouldn’t it be cool if in the next episode Locke actually stumbles across the actual certificate officially declaring the actual DHARMA test subjects’ actual fear?

And please people, remember to always issue a proper warning when releasing deadly viruses. It’s just common courtesy. Namaste.

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